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My name is Jimmy Kanada. Who has the audacity to challenge 11 of my baddest neutered blood hounds with rabies, drink more Mad Dog 20/20, smoke more Winston cigarettes, smoke more cigars, smoke more packs of Marboro 100’s, sick 44 starved beagles on a bull frog, whip a mule with a pair of deer antlers, spit more dip, drink more Coors light, bust up more salt lick, crack more mountain ice while shooting at mountain goats, ride a moose through 8 miles of swamp land, and make a wife lick the moss and sweat from in between ole Marvin Kennedy’s toes, mow more grass, talk more jive, shred more hay, dig more ditches, trim more hedges, drink more coffee, catch more bass fish, rope more cattle, use more giraffe spit and battery acid blended together for rat poison, vomit more grape wine, sip more yak, Bust more salt lick, make more beef jerky from buffalo meat, bar-b-q more quail, pluck more chickens, Tame more jackals, throw a guinea pig in a chicken coup full of wiener dogs, bust a bottle full of pee up against the mayors limo, beat a hillbilly to the punch line, crack open more pecans, eat more planters peanuts, chop more cedar wood, stomp on a plant full of water bugs with gator boots on, drop a wood rat in a bucket full of fire ants and scorpions, breed a pack of male hyenas with a half dozen Dobermans, milk a bull cow, sip more tonic, make a mule gallop through mud packing sun flower seeds, plow more desert land, make the nephews fix the sewage tank and clean the commodes after Thanksgiving, pop more black cats (fire works), sick 44 blood hounds on a wounded baby hippopotamus crippled on land by a shot gun bullet, curse, Play more blues and Polish more Cadillac’s than ole Jimmy Kanada huh?My name is bad ass Jimmy Kanada. Who in the hell can whip more deer, milk more goats, shave more sheep, sip more tonic mixed with gin, puke more coors light and grape wine, shoot more ducks in mid flight, break more deer necks, tame more hyenas, smoke more weed, smoke more Cool Filter Kings, jam more blues (Al Green) at midnight, pop more cherrys, spit more dip, whip more ass, piss longer, curse louder while walking barefoot through a swamp, trim more trees, sic more blood hounds on a pig, drink more yak, out fuss any slut into licking toes and stripping, gut more sword fish, bust more watermelon, grease more shot gun barrels, neuter more doberman pinschers, crack more mountain ice while shooting shot gun rounds at mountain goats, fight more geese with bare nuckles before sicking the pitbulls, sing the tracks of Betty Wright better, stomp more snails with only dress socks on, take more heat from the sun, cook more deer meat before catfishing with a spear gun, fill more milk jugs full of guerrilla piss, chew more gum and corn, gulp more liquir, roast more penguins, chunk more guinea pigs in a chicken cage full of blood thirsty mangy mutts with the aids virus, kill more jack rabbitts with a piece of glass, poop in more buckets to mix with lime juice, crack open more sea snail shells with a car jack, slap more lambs, peel more oranges, make more cock roach poison out of blended battery acid and giraffe piss, shoot more cross bow arrows at a politition's mansion from the weeds, spit more loogies in Walgreens, dance better in a croud of drunks, urinate longer in the back of a taxi cab, swing more sloths around in a circle by the balls tied to a shoe string, fry more octopus in dead fish grease for greyhound chow, hit more swan birds in the water with a truck load of broken gravel, milk more camels to make the step mother oatmeal, whip up more horse dookey and butter in order to force feed it to a retarded elf, take more wasp stings only to catch them for hunting season, make more hard headed house brides run across more sewage leaks in the yard for punishment, beat more hillbillys to the punch line after 11 bottles of Mad Dog 20/20, Train more sheep dogs to murder pigeons, laugh in the face of more census takers, cut more lumber, bust more salt lick only to grind it for monkey poop mixing, hunt more zebra for truck seat covers, fart more beans in Taco Bell, steal more chickens from another mans farm, scare more pizza delivery boys with a red hot branding iron fresh out of the fire, seduce more weman in the back of a big foot truck while sipping grape wine, make more chumps dance while ducking gun shots to the toes, and brush whiter teeth on a drunk mule packing a sack of pecans and marijuana seeds? Than JIMMY KANADA DAMMIT!! !! ??Who in the hell dares to step on Jimmy Kanada's grass to out grape wine drink, piss for the longest time on the store room floor of Walgreens, mix more baboon poop and butter for force feeding 4 geese with the mumps, shoot more shot gun rounds up the butt crack of a moose, vex more 92 year old cowboys by throwing mangy stray mutts over in theyre chicken cages, sick more doberman pinschers with the aids virus on a 3 leg having goat, throw more honey dipped piglets up against a wasp nest, stick more needles through the flesh of a dead camel, get a mule the drunkest on moon shine before brushing the donkeys teeth with colgate in order to see the donkeys teeth at night,neuter more wild zebra in the dark with a razor blade, make more fat girls cum with a classic pickle, make more short leprechauns clean the sewage tank after june with 3 dress socks for violating my grass, curse out more pricks for not comprehending the 11 blood hounds with tape worms, make a hooker lick toes for not being sexy, flick more Kool Filter King lit cigarettes at a pizza delivery boy for not saying yes sir, Train more starving beagles to pluck a goose, sell more crack in the ghetto, piss off taller sky scrapers after new years eve, eat more planters peanuts while plowing the dessert, hunt more sloth in the rain forrest, mix more fish guts, guerrilla piss, ape man poop, and rat poison to kill palmetto roaches in a cave, shoot more bats with piss dipped darts, cause more avalanches while shooting a bazooka up at mountain rams, make a horny cow watch me titty screw a tramp woman, tell the sickest jokes, strangle more flamingos with a car jack, piss on the top of a 3ft tall mans head from London for kicks, Bust more wine bottles up against the limo of the next county judge, drop more piglets in a tank full of water snakes and stinging sea snails, blow up more country clubs with 44 sticks of lit dynomite, fry more road runner birds in a pot full of piss and fish grease while they are still alive and kicking, fry more poop mixed with eggs in order to punish a drunk horse with gold teeth, cause more monkeys to masterbate by showing them porn, milk more giraffes with a water hose, fight more computer geeks drunk to the sweet sounds of the Jackson Five, Jam more Al green while steaming greens, sic more red nose pitbulls on a guinea pig, mix more guerrilla piss with cow nut for boiling frogs, make more home made honey from a bee's nest, crush more beer cans with a jack hammer, train more Hyenas to murder swans from a pond, sit for 2 days in a truck jamming Barry White before cursing out the wife and getting piss drunk on moon shine quicker than bad ass Jimmy Kanada huh?!Who has the audacity to step in his yard of freshly cut grass and talk mess to 11 of his baddest neutered blood hounds knowing that 6 of them has rabies and razor sharp teeth. Ole Marvin Kanada knows when to sic his trusty blood hounds on a trespasser who tends to jump the gun around his warnings and mean looks! The man stands 6ft 11inches tall and knows how to rumble in the jungle, shoot deer, skin a ox, gut a fish, drink 2 gallons of wine, smoke a pack of tobacco, fight, scream across acres off land, walk through moss in the swamp bare footed without a complaint about mosquitoes, fly fish, break a mule into pulling a plow, water 222 acres of land with his tractor, limp on a cane, swing a stick, spit, make a spoiled woman clean the commodes his house with a sock, boil a live frog, kick a bucket, watch Dolomite flicks, chew 3 pickles at the same time, whip a hyena with a broom stick, bust open salt lick, crush mountain ice, chop oak wood, dead wood and shoot a shot gun like john Wayne, pop his collar, burn a mangy rabbit with a branding iron, bust open a lap top computer with his bare knuckles while its in the lap of the US senator, sick 22 beagles on a guinea pig, throw a jack rabbit in a chicken coup full of jackals and Doberman pinchers, take a step back in order to break a republicans nose, dookey, urinate in a bottle and bust it up against the presidents limo, fart and take a leek at the same time, shoot shot gun rounds at the capital from the I-35 highway, feed 99 pounds of fish guts to his blood hounds, puke mad dog 20/20, have a fit over 6 gallons of detox and slap a pharmacist, pick a baby hog up by the nose and drop it in a hole full of rattler snakes, eat 70 pounds of pickled pigs feet, spit dip on the store room floor of H.E.B, burn a hole in the belly of a rat with a hot fork, roll 44 pounds of smoking tobacco, slop 22 hogs and stick one with a sharpened stick until it squeals and screams in the ear of a antelope, ride a bucking bull then kick it in the groin area, steal 80 sheep for seat covers, herd 888 cows in a field, pluck 55 ducks with a pair of toe nail clippers, shoot at a geeks feet with an Uzi and laugh while the prick yodels and pleads to ole Marvin Kanada for mercy, then twist a heroin addict chicks pony tail until she says uncle, crack open pecans while getting to the punch line with his brother Jimmy Kanada, turn over a water tank with all of his partners help, cross the county line, bust fire works in the parking lot of a movie theater, fight and street box a mime into utter submission, then make him yell for mercy, make his wife lick the swamp moss and sweat from in between his toes before the divorce, sip yak, make his best gray hound attack, trim 199 acres of land with a weed whacker, fill 3 water beds with beer, tear down a town house with an ax while his truck stereo plays the sweet sounds of the Almighty Al Green, curse, smell musty like wine and cigarettes, look mean, speak to the sky with passions, catch a crooked politician in a lie, make him apologize and kiss his wild dogs in the mouth, mess with the mayor of Alabama’s wife, write a derogatory letter to a store clerk, go to hooters and spit over the counter, , , chop the head off of a giraffes neck to hang up on his bedroom wall, go to ACC and fuss at the dean, fry 66 sword fish in one day, all before laying his head down to sleep before the next days construction work in a desert field of ground rats and tumble weed full of poisoned snakes with 33 of his meanest gray hounds with syphilis!
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