acutely obtuse

Vartan Enterprises LLC

2010-12-25T03:39:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I've done stuff in ecommerce since college. Started off selling refurbished consumer electronics on eBay, from my dorm room. Started selling a few other niche products. It's sorta just for fun, I've outsourced all the operations, support, shipping - and it doesn't require a whole lot of my time, and even though they are (very) small time, it's still interesting. Check them out:

www.BonsaiSandals.com -- sandal I designed and got manufactured starting in 2004. Sheepskin beach flipflops.

www.TheSucculentWreath.com -- beautiful succulent-plants wreath. One of a kind, and an awesome gift!

www.ThePocketTorch.com -- used to sell steel butane pocket torches in college. This one is sorta for old times sake and because I already had the domain.

www.TheHamburgerPhone.com -- bought the domain after seeing the movie Juno; 3 weeks later decided it would be easy to set up one-page storefront and import the phones from china. Sold a few thousand of them over 3 years with near-zero time commitment.

I've got one or two other mini-store ideas up my sleeve, so keep watch!

Seeking Crack Scala / Lift / Ruby craftsman or craftswoman for ex-Googler startup

2010-05-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

Do you love Scala or Ruby, functional programming, Lift, Rails, the social web,
algorithms, machine learning, auctions, viral coefficients,
optimization, behavioral finance, or all of the above?

We are two ex-Google Product Marketers, and we're creating what we
believe is a genuinely novel, social, well-branded, useful, and highly-
monetizable app that leverages the best of Facebook's and Twitter's
social graph APIs. Unlike typical product managers, who tend to think
narrowly about the product with their left-brains — how well it's
designed, the evolution of its feature set, its market positioning
against competitors — and believe users will just come if the product
is good enough, we also engaged our right-brains and thought through
very subtle but powerful pieces of the puzzle: early-stage incentives,
network effects, brand resonance, emotional attachment, social
reinforcement, ease of customer acquisition via quantifiable channels,
and the product's intrinsic viral potential/coefficient. We also have
some killer potential names (and own the associated domain families).

Like all new tech ideas, we face a significant risk of failure. The
probability of success is admittedly low. But conditioned on that
(potentially low) chance of success, the payoff will be very high –
we're attacking a market of major size and one that has very
attractive secular long-term growth dynamics, and our idea has broad
applicability across customer demographics. We see our idea as a
'binary bet', and one that will take about 3-6 months worth of
development time to determine the outcome. It's in the nature of the
incentive structures we're building, the product's attachment and
engagement methods, and user acquisition strategy, that if it "works",
positive feedback will kick in quickly and the binary bet would pay
off — potentially significantly.

We're looking for two to four experienced Scala / Lift engineers to
work closely with us on a contract basis for 12-24 weeks to build
version 1 of the product. We haven't raised external money, and do not
intend to at this early stage (we may be able to generate meaningful
revenue even with a small number of users, as long as they are engaged
with the product on a daily basis); that being said, we can afford to
pay a high quality developer market rates (for early stage startups)
with a combination of cash and pre-Series A equity.

A bonus if you're also an ex-Googler, have done significant work in Ruby or
Scala / Lift before, can implement basic machine learning algorithms,
or have experience in one or more of the following fields: payments/
transaction processing, online advertising, contextual targeting,
auction dynamics, behavioral economics, computational game theory,
operations research/supply-chain algorithms, NLP, collaborative
filtering, graph theory, zero-knowledge proofs, or hidden Markov
models. A big bonus if you've read Shannon's "Mathematical Theory of
Communication" cover to cover! (This is not to say our product will
include features from all these fields; we just highly value engineers
with experience in any of these areas).

It's also a big bonus if you have a good head for design and user
experience. Major plus if you're a font-addict like we are :)

If this sounds at all interesting and you'd like to hear more, please
get back to me with your availability for a short chat, and forward
your resume/cv/recent projects. Also tell me about what brought you to
Scala or Ruby, how experienced you are with the language and the Lift
framework, and what fields of either theoretical computer science or
more pragmatic product development interest you the most. What does
your dream software engineering job look like? What's your preferred
engagement model (contract, hourly, project-based, part-time, full-
time, cash, equity, a mix)? A short cover letter describing your
background would help, too.

As for us: We're two ex-Google guys with significant experience in web
and non-web marketing. One of us sells his own line of furry sandals
at http://www.bonsaisandals.com. and sells Hamburger Phones (from the
movie Juno) at http://www.thehamburgerphone.com – he started his first
business from his Stanford dorm room in 2000, selling surplus consumer
electronics and computer peripherals on eBay while taking a full
engineering course load. The other one has marketing in his blood and
has been thinking about interesting marketing issues from both a
theoretical/academic perspective, and from a pragmatic, Google-
marketing foot-soldier perspective for his entire career.

Regards,
Alex
alex@bonsaisandals.com

whoops

2009-07-23T16:27:00.001-07:00

I just found a paper I wrote for the Freshman Seminar i took in 1998, Plant Genetic Engineering, where I built a model of the economics of converting palm-oil plantations in indonesia into plantations of a (hypothetical) GM palm that produced kernel oil of high energy density.

now that greentech is such a big thing, I kinda feel like a bozo for having the interest in the subject way back in '98 when nobody was talking about it, and not pursuing it myself.

i guess the big question is what am I interested in *today* that I will regret 10 years from now if I don't pursue?

...

i am

2009-07-18T07:28:00.001-07:00

kind of weirded out by some of the iGoogle themes (xxxxx???).

Day I don't even know

2007-07-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

As you can see, the light in the classroom is still on. It's been easily three weeks now. I called the SFSD Buildings and Grounds number again today and spoke to the same surly woman as I did last week. This time she just transfered me to the Electrical Shop (?) and directed me to leave a message, which I did. But I think all someone needs to do is flip the light switch.

Day 5 methinks?

2007-07-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Took this picture Sunday night. I'll give the SFSD a pass for not sending someone out on the weekend. Hope the light(s) are off tonight, given it has been a few days since I called and a work order was written up.

Anybody have any guesses how much it costs per day to light up a large room using fluorescent bulbs, at San Francisco rates?

Day 3

2007-06-29T21:19:00.001-07:00

Called the SF School District's Buildings & Grounds department. A surly woman said she'd fill out a work order for me. This was this morning. The light is still on as of 8.50pm tonight, as you can see.

Night 1

2007-06-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

The light has been on in this City of San Francisco building for over a week now (it's viewable from my bedroom window), and I just realized it wasn't because someone was using the room. I dialed San Francisco's 3-1-1 "city services" line -- they said that since it's a school, it's not the City's responsibility, and instead they gave me the number of SF School District's Buildings and Grounds department. So I'll call tomorrow.

More URLs

2007-04-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

Alright so I went a little overboard this weekend with the domain names. Additions to the portfolio (all were unregistered except for DoNotVoteDemocrat.com which I purchased from a third-party via bazaar.afternic.com for $40)

DoNotVoteDemocrat.com
DoNotVoteRepublican.com
LearnAboutOmega3.com
PaloAltoHealth.com
SheepskinSandals.com

What to do?

2007-04-28T14:17:00.001-07:00

Just registered 'circadeaqui.com' and 'cercadeaqui.com' (they were available!), and bought simplechanges.com from a third party for a nominal amount (my first third party purchase!). Any ideas what I should do with them?

New thing

2007-03-31T14:25:00.000-07:00

Armen, a friend from Stanford, recently launched a new social networking deal: ExperienceProject.com - the social network where nobody knows your name. Check it out!

Awesome

2007-02-10T12:23:00.001-08:00

New favorite drink

2006-12-30T19:20:00.000-08:00

1/3 green Chartreuse
2/3 white grapefruit juice
shaken w/cracked ice

Hat tip to my longtime friend, the inimitable Peterangelo Vallis

San Francisco

2006-11-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

I moved apartments, and this is what I get to see as I walk to the Google Shuttle stop in the morning.

Go Grandma!

2006-11-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

In an Fresno Bee article about Brain Fitness, a cognitive training program designed for seniors, my grandma has this to say:

At Fairwinds retirement community in northwest Fresno, Violet Vartan, 91, can't get enough of the program. The residents pay $100 for the eight-week course.
"I want to keep doing it again," Vartan said. "It's easy and fun to do. And I think it is working on me."
Vartan and several other residents said they feel better after doing the computer exercises.

http://www.fresnobee.com/170/story/11630.html

Sushi rollups

2006-10-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

At Google we have TGIF every friday. It's basically a weekly all-hands meeting + food festival. Typically, some combination of Larry, Sergey, and Eric (or occassionally another member of EMG) hosts, and they highlight important business events of the week.

Since I've moved across the street from main campus, I usually attend a telecasted TGIF in my office. Today, our building's culinary team created a beautiful, clever, and extremely unhealthy dish: Sushi Rollups. I was so awe-struck that I took a picture with my new fancy cameraphone. Can you tell what the sushi is made of? It's twinkies, wrapped with Fruit Rollups, cut sushi-style, topped off with slithery gummi worms.

PURE GENIUS!

Umm....

2006-10-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

Don't go to germany

2006-10-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Germany&om=1&ie=UTF8&z=18&ll=48.857646,10.205221&spn=0.003187,0.005826&t=k

(Via Case)

Betcha didn't know I'm in the Cold Business

2006-10-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

How good is the new Beck album?!?!

2006-10-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

(This is not a question.)

Squandered Opportunity

2006-08-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

Last week I registered the domain name SquanderedOpportunity.com. I didn't have any specific use in mind at that point, but I thought it might be a good domain for some kind of theme blog. It's kind of long, but...

Any ideas?

Hamburgers

2006-08-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

Highly Recommended

2006-07-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

These are some goooood cookies. Peep 'em next time you at the Waysafe.

Good

2006-07-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

You know what's kinda good? Dried apricots soaked in white wine.
Ok bye.

.:: beedogs ::.

2006-07-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

This website is pretty weird:

.:: beedogs ::.

Funkadelica

2006-06-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

I ran across George Clinton's funk•cyclo•pedia and it's just about the best site i've seen all month. Did you know that a black hole is a prime zone of funkativity? This guide clears up a lot of long-standing questions I've had about the P-Funk universe.

And you know what, I bet all the definitions in the 'pedia are completely internally consistent, too.

Chicken....but also a PIE!

2006-06-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today, instead of going for some eats at one of the many yuppie slophouses in my neighboorhood, I went to Mel's Drive-In and had a Chicken Pot Pie special.

I forgot hot much I liked Chicken Pot Pie. Next time i'm in Fresno I'll have to hit up the famous Chicken Pie Shop.

Tamed 11,400 years ago, figs were likely first domesticated crop | Science Blog

2006-06-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

Tamed 11,400 years ago, figs were likely first domesticated crop | Science Blog

The scientists compared the ancient figs to modern wild and domesticated variants and determined that they were a mutant selectively propagated by humans. In this variety of fig, known as parthenocarpic, the fruit develops without insect pollination and is prevented from falling off the tree, allowing it to become soft, sweet, and edible. However, because such figs do not produce seeds, they are a reproductive dead end unless humans interfere by planting shoots from the parthenocarpic trees.

'Once the parthenocarpic mutation occurred, humans must have recognized that the resulting fruits do not produce new trees, and fig tree cultivation became a common practice,' Bar-Yosef says. 'In this intentional act of planting a specific variant of fig tree, we can see the beginnings of agriculture. This edible fig would not have survived if not for human intervention.

The neighboorhood I grew up in Fresno is called Fig Garden, because in the early 1900s, a crazy farmer/developer had an idea to plant 10,000+ acres of fig trees in the area that is now north Fresno. When the trees didn't produce good fruit (because of the soil -- he had to blast through the hardpan with dynamite to plant the trees), he switched it up and marketed the land as residential lots. In backyards or on roadsides you can occasionally see a wild fig baby fig tree pop out of the ground from a long dormant root.

Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape

2006-06-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

I'm reading C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters for the third time -- but this time, I also have a blog. This passage, from Letter 12, struck me:

As this condition becomes more fully established, you will be gradually freed from the tiresome business of providing Pleasures as temptations. As the uneasiness and his reluctance to face it cut him off more and more from all real happiness, and as habit renders the pleasures of vanity and excitement and flippancy at once less pleasant and harder to forgo (for that is what habit fortunately does to a pleasure) you will find that anything or nothing is sufficient to attract his wandering attention. You no longer need a good book, which he really likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday's paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversation he enjoys with people whom he likes but also in conversations with those he cares nothing about, on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and outgoing activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at last he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, "I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked." The Christians describe the Enemy as one "without whom Nothing is strong." And Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off.

Awkward rays

2006-05-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night, in between Pizzicato 5 albums etc., I moseyed on down to the Pizza Orgasmica for some eats and had one of the first vicariously-awkward moments i've had in a while. I was waiting in line behind a tired looking, semi-dorky thirtysomething lawyerman when we he caught sight of a lady law school classmate (I guessed) and her beau. Since I was standing behind Snore McBore Esq., and the place is pretty small (and well lit), I was able to intercept pretty well the Awkwardrays zooming back and forth between Snore and Lady:

LADY: just finished placing order / turns around and walks to the side and makes way for husband, who starts ordering / makes a quick turn of the head / bounce-back-beautiful hair goes into action / Snore now visible / faint inkling of familiarity evident on face / but eye contact not yet made.

AWKWARDRAY: <zoooom bingg peow> lands on balding head of Snore.

SNORE: "i'm just standing here, hungry for some pizza, got my flip flops on, my old comfy law school sweatshirt and adidas windpants, can't wait for some pizza, gosh these glasses are dirty let me wipe them off with my t-shirt, i sure would love sausage..." / glasses back on / isn't that Lady, hey you know what it is /

AWKWARDRAY: <peeeeeeowwww blingbling sizizizizzzzzz zz zzz> bounces back on to Lady, just below the eye

LADY: oh isn't that a guy i went to law school with / i thought i heard he's working for the state dept in africa...or was that... / oh no he's looking at me / damn

AWKWARDRAY: <sheeeeooooooowwwwww ding ding> reflected back, some photons hitting me

...well this went on for a while. In their 2 minute conversation (little did they know) I was a part of, I developed the following backstory for them:

Snore probably considered Lady to be a "friend" in law school, but she just thought of him as the 'nice guy' in the library who would always try to turn a homework-help question into a 10 minute conversation
Lady's beau was probably her husband / serious boyfriend, who she met 6 months into her first job out of law school
They were about 5 years out of school
They went to a top tier law school back east
Snore remembered lots of things about Lady and the good ole' days
Lady forgot Snore's name (had she been tested on it at the time, we would have learned that she actually forgot his name 9 months after graduation).
Snore knew that Lady forgot his name, and was in fact gracious enough to save Lady from embarassment and intercepted the introduction she would have had to make when her husband came 'round.

Thinking up this backstory and witnessing the conversation made me feel very awkward, especially when husband / boyfriend Niceguy McPhee and his what looked to be fratbrother buddy Redhair Superdrunk came up. There is nothing more awkward than making smalltalk with the buzzed boyfriend of a former what-turned-out-to-be-a-not-friend and his drunk buddy at 10:30 pm on a Friday, in a cramped Pizza-by-the-Slice deal in the middle of the chatchball district of SF. NOTHING. Thankfully the conversation ended, although it was broken off not by Lady, not by Niceguy, of course not by Snore, but buy Redhair (?!?). The two parties separated, with Lady et. al. nearing the door with their slices and Snore getting back to menu reading. After a few minutes I finally got my pizza slice, and went home, having collected some awkwardrays and feeling exhasuted as a result.

Mexico Is Offering Bonds to Cover a Major Quake - New York Times

2006-05-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

Mexico Is Offering Bonds to Cover a Major Quake - New York Times

I wrote a paper on cat bonds during grad school. They are fascinating securities and have lots of attractive features for investors, including effectively zero correlation to other asset classes and high yields. My paper modeled Berkshire Hathaway's super-cat reinsurance business and showed that it was responsible for more of Berkshire's success than most people gave it credit for. Cat bonds finally let a wider class of investors in on the market Warren Buffet has cornered for more than thirty years.

Oops

2006-05-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I filled up my tank at the Chevron. Except I forgot to put the gas pumper thing back in the cradle before I drove off. Now, I have only done this one other time in my entire life, and it was pretty embarrassing, but the gas pumper thing just fell out of my pump and hit the ground and I went on my merry way.

Well this time, Ms. Volvo had her lips locked around that gas pump thing and she just didn't want to let go, so as a result the entire pump handle and rubber house operation ripped out of the pump standup deal, and I drove for basically two miles with a gas pump and 10 foot hose dangling out of my car. Finally at an intersection a crazy-old-man in a crazy-old-man-truck yelled at me repeatedly and I finally realized what the fudge was I had done. I was so disoriented by the complete absurdity of the situation that I got lost trying to drive back to the gas station. Thankfully, there was no damage to either my car or the gas pump, and the perturbed man who ran the station managed to reattatch the pump lickity-split.

That is all I have to report. Also sorry for my gas pump terminology ignorance.

Fresno Times

2006-05-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

An article about Fresno in the NYT Travel section, and a shout out to Fresno's own Sparkys Electronics store in a business piece -- all in one week!?!? Crazytalk!

Fresno, Calif. - New York Times

Business Article Thing

Biz Stone, Genius: The Wise Old Owl

2006-05-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

Shamelessly copying from Biz

Biz Stone, Genius: The Wise Old Owl:

The Wise Old Owl

The wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard:
Why can't we all be like that bird?
—Edward H. Richards

2U2bes

2006-04-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

These are the best. Unfortunately Flash doesn't do the vocals justice.

Fresno students take to the streets

2006-03-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

Hundreds of students from all around Fresno walked out of school yesterday and today to protest the immigration bill going through Congress right now. I don't remember a protest/walkout anywhere close to this magnitude in my 12 years of Fresno schooling. Awesome video.

http://www.fresnobee.com/static/2006/327protests/

Why I smell like a satsuma

2006-03-26T12:05:00.000-08:00

Also, before last night's listening fest (see below), I had an outstanding early sushi dinner at Zushi Puzzle. It seems there must have been a translation or transcription error, or something, as the Kirin beer my waiter delivered to me was hobo-sized. Now I hate waste (though maybe the kids who sit next to me at work might take issue with that assertion, given the quantity of empty plastic Crystal Geyser bottles I toss in our recycling bucket on a daily basis), so I of course drank all that was presented to me.

However, this meant that I was a bit tipsy when walking home. I happened to pass by The Body Shop, and for some reason I noticed the window display which featured an impressive number of Satsuma-infused products. I tittered when I saw this, and those of you in the know understand why. The satsuma mandarin orange is my most favorite fruit in the whole world (my family grows them commercially just outside of the 'No), and ever since I was a kid I eagerly eagerly eagerly anticipated the very short satsuma season so we could go out to the ranch and pick them off the trees ourselves. And it was news to me that the satsuma moniker (technically, it's not a fruit name -- it names a specific variety of mandarin orange) has gained such marketing equity that it would be used in such a way. (Same deal with Meyer lemon and blood orange, which Williams-Sonoma uses in their dish soap and hand lotion). I admit that a part of me doesn't like this one bit. Satsumas are my little secret. What's next, Minneola tangelo toliet flushers, or Siamese Sweet pummelo after shave?

Anyhow, my excitement got the best of me, and as I was standing in front of the display at the front of the store, the aggresive saleslady came up to me. I proceeded to tell her my entire satsuma story and told her how incredibly excited I was that The Body Shop had satsuma-essence products. She saw what an incredibly easy mark I was in my semi-sloshed condition, and before I knew it I walked out with a $16 thing of extra-extra-strength satsuma bath oil (I do love to take baths, and just like Alan, get lots of reading done in the tub).

Well, apparentally I'm not quite expert at this bath oil operation yet, because I just got out of the tub after putting in a bit too much oil, my entire body is oiler than I'd like, and now I smell like a satsuma.

Music Night

2006-03-26T11:05:00.000-08:00

I've been having some pretty good luck with music lately. It started a few weeks ago when I discovered The Go! Team via iTunes' lovely shuffle function popping up a random podcast I had forgotten I had subscribed to (I blogged about this previously).

Then, my (somewhat-embarassing) obsession with Japanese Shibuya-Kei music and it's flag-bearering superluckyfun group Pizzicato 5 led me to discover Fantastic Plastic Machine.

And that's when it started to get weird. So the deal with Shibuya-Kei is that it's this wacky fusion of Brazilian bossa nova, old school soul, French lounge-pop, hip hop, and 60s movie soundtrack grooves, seen thorugh the spectacles of talented Japanese producer/DJs. Which of course means it's perfectly natural that Fantastic Plastic Machine would lay down a highly-addictive interpretation of the Eurythmics' "There must be an angel" (on his Luxury album). Which i've pretty much been listening to at least 5 times a day for the past three weeks. I don't even like the Eurythmics! And i'm not Japanese! But anyway, of course I downloaded the Eurythmics version of the song, which now I'm into, but mostly because of the hot Stevie Wonder cameo. Unfortunately, you have to endure Annie Lennox's "la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ing" for a few minutes before Little Stevie Wonder's harmonica shows up in your earhole.

But I digress. This post was really sparked by my four hour listening session last night, during which I rediscovered dozens of hot tracks in my collection (including DJ Nu-Mark's funky "Hot Track", which features a lovably racist Persian skit at the end), some of which hadn't ever been given the privledge of being sonically instantiated by my wonderful Sennheiser HD-555. And as luck would have it, two albums I had been highly anticipating were released last week (I never manage to keep track of album release dates beyond a vague "Aren't xyz releasing something, ummmmmm, this year?): Mates of State's "Bring it Back" and Prince's "3121", although the latter wasn't available on iTunes. I also picked up Black Star's hot "Born & Raised" from Dave Chappelle's Block Party OST, and a few other random tracks and two used CDs from Amazon I will not name but blame the second scotch for telling me to buy.

So, even though I was Coughy McHermit last night, and basically wandered back and forth from my bed to couch over a period of 4 hours, it was still a good evening.

Blogger party!

2006-03-17T13:05:00.000-08:00

Members of the Blogger team and other assorted Googler's at our Blogger party at SxSW in Austin. Fun times were had by all.

Fantastic plastic machine

2006-03-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

Best album art EVER.

The Ararat Anomaly

2006-03-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

Mt. Ararat has been the defining symbol of the Armenian nation since antiquity. These days, of course, it's in Turkish territory, tantalizingly near the border of Armenia. Linked below is a great article detailing the continuing saga of the Ararat Anomaly. The Turkish government hasn't allowed anyone to make an archaelogical expedition, but the Anomaly is reported by the Kurdish mountain-folk to be most certainly man-made.

SPACE.com -- EXCLUSIVE: Satellite Sleuth Closes in on Noah’s Ark Mystery

Writely -- So hot!

2006-03-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

Yay! Writely's on board. I worked on this acquisition (from the marketing side) over the past few days. They're a great group and have created a nifty product. Welcome to the 'plex!

Official Google Blog: Writely so

Weekend

2006-03-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

Let's see...

Saturday:
1. Brunch with the Chronicle at Lettus (HORRIBLE french toast. So bad i'm going to write an email).
2. Brunch #2 with the Guardian at Judy's after unsatisfying #1.
3. Read Forbes in the bath, Alan Greenspan style.
4. Interneting on the bed.
5. Decided to brave a muni ride to Union Square (through Chinatown).
6. Got lost in Banana Republic, and felt guilty buying clothes from a store I actually don't like.
7. Rode muni back home. Three foul-mouthed 13 year old black girls and a cholita hopped on. They were talking loud and swearing. Apparentally I was staring at them, though I don't know what they expected me to do given their behavior (one of them was sitting next to me), because when they got off the bus, all three of them gave me the finger and started yelling obscenities at me. I didn't even sigh, or give them a dirty look, or anything!
8. Ate two apples and popped the cork on some wine and read some books and watched three episodes of Weeds and two Arrested Developments and Allmusic.com-ed for quite some time.
9. Flaked out on a party I was invited to.

Sunday:
1. Three more episodes of Weeds and two more Arresteds.
2. Brunch with Forbes at Home Plate: "Special Scramble". Topped it off with a cinnamon roll while walking home.
3. Two phone calls.
4. Read Car&Driver in the bath, Lee Iacocca style.
5. Wandered in the rain (with an umbrella of course!)
6. Dinner: Alex's Magical Mush. Oatmeal + Fiber One + flaxseed + raisins. Microwave until mushy. Add milk and honey and enjoy -- your colon will thank you 30 years from now.
7. More interneting in bed and reading and musicing.
8. Cleaned my bathroom and removed a massive amount of lint dustbunnies from behind my bed.

I AM SO BORING.

Goofood

2006-03-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

The Chronicle had an article today about Google's amazing foodservice operation. There are a lot of fantastic pictures, too (great photography if you ask me).

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/03/01/FDG32H9OF61.DTL

Spore? Spore!

2006-03-01T20:31:00.000-08:00

I'm a big big big Maxis fan, and cut my teeth on the original SimCity back in yesterdayland. In fact, if you tally up the sum total of my life that I've spent playing every version of SimCity, weeks would be the appropriate unit of measure. I even played SimAnt, SimFarm (really!) and SimTower. Oddly enough, I've never played The Sims, though -- I think I'd probably get far too into it for my own good. (Maybe when I take my someday-sabattical I'll put that on the to-do list).

But, man, Will Wright's new creation looks incredible. When this comes out, expect to not see me for a while. And when you do see me again, I might be applying to med school or something...

Oh, FYI, I'll also be out of touch when that new slim model of the DS comes out. (Super Princess Peach!)

Weird

2006-02-26T17:26:00.000-08:00

How do YOU discover new music? I just found the neatest group, The Go! Team, and this is how:

1. Got a job at the Big G
2. Assignment: Blogger
3. Via aforementioned assignment, met Karen W.
4. While waiting in line last summer for the Big G shuttle, noticed Karen W. was unraveling her iPod headphones in anticipation of the mighty trek down 101.
5. Asked if she had any favorite podcasts she listened to on the regular.
6. Reply: "Check out KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic"
7. Subscribe to podcast in iTunes, listen to a show. "Eh."

...7 months later...

8. While listening to my "Recently Added" playlist, forget to pause iTunes as I take off my headphones to go eat.
9. Return and put headphones back on, listening to the middle of Morning Becomes Eclectic, featuring "The Go! Team".

Wow.

2006-02-25T21:52:00.000-08:00

Google Page Creator

2006-02-22T21:22:00.000-08:00

Well, the product i've been working on since I started Google has finally been released! Check out Google Page Creator at http://pages.google.com. It's an awesome product and I know will only get better ;) Hats off to the entire team: Justin, Ojan, Dana, Nathan, Julie, Eric, and Lilly. You guys are my heros...and made me realize that I miss writing code :)

ARMENIANS EVERYWHERE!

2006-02-21T21:33:00.000-08:00

My cousins at my Uncle & Aunts 50th anniversary:
Brother and sister John the Chessmaster & Anna in the first picture (& me), marker-faced Alexandra & Alex in the second.

TIME: Life in the Googleplex Photo Essay

2006-02-20T22:11:00.000-08:00

TIME: Life in the Googleplex Photo Essay

Where I work.

Sony BRAVIA - The Advert

2006-02-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

This is pretty much the coolest commercial EVER (it was shot in SF, without special effects)

Sony BRAVIA - The Advert

Yo!

2006-02-09T18:51:00.000-08:00

There are just so many reasons why this is hot.
Also, a year and a half ago I knew 75% of the lyrics to this song. (I need to brush up on my mix-a-lot.)

Lemmings!

2006-02-09T10:36:00.001-08:00

Elizium Lemmings - Menu

When I was a youngster, I used to play this goofy computer game called "Lemmings". Basically, in each level, a bunch of lemmings start falling out of the sky, and all they do walk to the right. If there are barriers, they bounce off, and if there are pits, well, they're lemmings, and they plunge to their death. Your job is to assign particular lemmings roles (i.e. "Builder", or "Digger") in certain parts of the level, with the goal of getting a certain percentage of the lemmings to the end of the level.

It was a really awesome game with a very unique premise. And now, someone has implemented it using fancy web browser teknologies! (link above). AWESOME.

Grapefruit

2006-02-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

Red grapefruit good for heart, cholesterol | Science Blog

Awesome! Time to plant more grapefruit...

Ski trip

2006-02-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

Vivian and I in one of the three themed rooms of the thursday night party on the company ski trip. Crazy times. Vivian calls this my "before" pic :(

And yes, that is real mink. You go girl.

Imagining the Google Future - January 01, 2006

2006-02-01T17:05:00.000-08:00

Imagining the Google Future - January 01, 2006

Rain Man

2006-01-31T09:28:00.000-08:00

Fantastic article about an autistic savant who can explain how he performs his computational feats.
Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | A genius explains

Ugh

2006-01-29T19:45:00.000-08:00

This woman gives a bad name to an entire religion.

BIRDO BIRDO BIRDO!

2006-01-24T22:09:00.000-08:00

So last night I was IMing with Amy, and as we were saying goodnight, as a silly term of endearment, I said "'night birdo". I'm not quite sure where this came from, but I frequently have thoughts that seem to bubble up from wacky, wacky places in my brain:

Amy: birdo?
Alex: google it
Alex: actually
Amy: that's one of the bad guys in supermario 2 [she said this without having time at all to google 'birdo', and obviously, the SMB character is what i was alluding to.]

Amy, thats hot you down with the birdo crew.

Incidentally, like 4 years ago, even before these old school SMB characters started showing up on t-shirts hanging from the walls at the spencer's gifts and the hot topics and the urban outfitters, i thought about trying to get a license from nintendo to create a birdo t-shirt. maybe i should still go for it. any takers for Crazy Al's Birdo Wear?

Of course: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birdo

AND: http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0718/

Wow

2006-01-24T13:07:00.000-08:00

This is some hot ish.

How Meditation Works

2006-01-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

How Meditation Works

This is a really neat article about meditation.

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding

2006-01-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

Maybe i'm late to the game here, but this is the Most Awesomest Website Ever:

http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

Also, you'll like it if you're really really into collectable ceramics.

09012da680032928_16x9_bb.asx (video/x-ms-asf Object)

2006-01-11T13:52:00.000-08:00

09012da680032928_16x9_bb.asx (video/x-ms-asf Object)

BBC did a segment on Google at CES and has pictures of some APMMers and our booth.

CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE

2006-01-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

Kerrygold: Our Products - Dubliner Irish Cheese

This cheese is really really good! And you can even get it at Safeway (at least the ugh-inducing Marina Safeway)

I WANT YOU SO BAD

2006-01-10T11:42:00.000-08:00

Apple - MacBook Pro

Living Forever....It's the Cheese

2006-01-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

There is this island, Sardinia, maybe you've heard of it, where there are lots of old people. Like 100+ years of age. And the weird thing is, in some parts, the ratio of male to female centenarians is 1:1 (as opposed to 1:4 in the rest of the world)!

How to Live Forever

Pov Pob

2005-12-31T13:19:00.000-08:00

Fresno has the largest Hmong population in the U.S.A., and every year there is a big Hmong New Year celebration at the Fresno Fairgrounds. The kids have this wacky courtship game they play. Watch!

povpob.mov (video/quicktime Object)

I like that they use tennis balls.

In Hoc Anno Domini

2005-12-24T20:15:00.000-08:00

This editorial appeared in the Wall Street Journal today. It was written in 1949 and they've been running it yearly ever since (just one of many reasons why I love the Journal). It's a beautiful testament to the significance of Christmas to people of all backgrounds.

In Hoc Anno Domini
December 24, 2005; Page A8

When Saul of Tarsus set out on his journey to Damascus the whole of the known world lay in bondage. There was one state, and it was Rome. There was one master for it all, and he was Tiberius Caesar.

Everywhere there was civil order, for the arm of the Roman law was long. Everywhere there was stability, in government and in society, for the centurions saw that it was so.

But everywhere there was something else, too. There was oppression -- for those who were not the friends of Tiberius Caesar. There was the tax gatherer to take the grain from the fields and the flax from the spindle to feed the legions or to fill the hungry treasury from which divine Caesar gave largess to the people. There was the impressor to find recruits for the circuses. There were executioners to quiet those whom the Emperor proscribed. What was a man for but to serve Caesar?

There was the persecution of men who dared think differently, who heard strange voices or read strange manuscripts. There was enslavement of men whose tribes came not from Rome, disdain for those who did not have the familiar visage. And most of all, there was everywhere a contempt for human life. What, to the strong, was one man more or less in a crowded world?

Then, of a sudden, there was a light in the world, and a man from Galilee saying, Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's and unto God the things that are God's.

And the voice from Galilee, which would defy Caesar, offered a new Kingdom in which each man could walk upright and bow to none but his God. Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. And he sent this gospel of the Kingdom of Man into the uttermost ends of the earth.

So the light came into the world and the men who lived in darkness were afraid, and they tried to lower a curtain so that man would still believe salvation lay with the leaders.

But it came to pass for a while in divers places that the truth did set man free, although the men of darkness were offended and they tried to put out the light. The voice said, Haste ye. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness come upon you, for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.

Along the road to Damascus the light shone brightly. But afterward Paul of Tarsus, too, was sore afraid. He feared that other Caesars, other prophets, might one day persuade men that man was nothing save a servant unto them, that men might yield up their birthright from God for pottage and walk no more in freedom.

Then might it come to pass that darkness would settle again over the lands and there would be a burning of books and men would think only of what they should eat and what they should wear, and would give heed only to new Caesars and to false prophets. Then might it come to pass that men would not look upward to see even a winter's star in the East, and once more, there would be no light at all in the darkness.

And so Paul, the apostle of the Son of Man, spoke to his brethren, the Galatians, the words he would have us remember afterward in each of the years of his Lord:

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

This editorial was written in 1949 by the late Vermont Royster and has been published annually since.

Limerick

2005-12-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

I had to write a limerick for JR becuase I forgot to submit my snippets. (I know the previous sentence makes no sense to a non-Googler):

Larry, Sergey, and Eric
Don't snip - or at least, don't share it.
But alas I'm just me
A lowly A-P
I'll do it next week - I sware it!

This was forwarded by JR to LS&E in an attempt to call them out for not submitting snippets just 'cuz their billionaires.

Armenians

2005-12-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

For the past two years, I've worked on Fast for Armenia, an annual fundraiser I helped start with the Stanford Armenian Students Association. Last year, we raised over $13,000 through donations and sales of wristbands. The funds went to support Armenian schoolchildren -- we were able to give them full sets of textbooks, new desks, and other school supplies. Here are some pictures of the kids from one of the schools we supported in the village of Antarout.

China China China

2005-12-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

This is my most favorite picture ever, from my trip to China with Googs. The girls are all freshmen at Jiaotong University in Shanghai. I demoed products for them, but mostly they wanted to know about my life in the US and what college was like for me. There was lots of giggling.

Umm...yeah....

2005-12-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

...so i've been at the Googs for 7 months now, as an APMM. I work on a couple of products, one of them being Blogger. I've always been a bit paranoid when it comes to The Internets, and I've never blogged because I was always concerned that something I wrote would come back to haunt me 20 years down the road when I run for president. But after some Deep Thoughts and a bit of mathematicalisms, I came to the realization that:

P[life(subscript 2025) = presidential candidate]*[Blog(subscript value) | life(subscript 2025) = presidential candidate]
<<
(1 - P[life(subscript 2025) = presidential candidate])*[Blog(subscript value) | life(subscript 2005) != presidential candidate]

Therefore, I (finally) started a blog. Yes, I know I'm 7 months late.

QED.